Today on the news:
Some monkey interviews another monkey about some monkeys killing a bunch of other monkeys.

In other news:
Kittens!

All these marches are fucking stupid.
March against this & march against that.
Unless you’re marching up to the Capitol, assault rifle in hand, your marches ain’t gonna do shit.

This is boring. Wake me when the revolution starts.
The real one you pussies; Not this peaceful hippie shit

Pretty people & ugly people are very similar in that both have little to no social skills.
This is cuz when you’re pretty everyone wants to be your friend so it doesn’t matter that you’re an awkward, annoying fuck
And when you’re ugly no one wants to be your friend so you turn into an awkward, annoying fuck.
I’m so lucky that I was born both cute AND interesting.

I wonder if crazy people realize that they’re crazy.
Wait.. Am I crazy?
Who said that?!

This world is full of promise.
Promise. Not guarantee.
Always keep that in mind.